She’s Hurt

They hurt this child.

She’s bruised.

She’s beaten.

She’s alone.

She’s unconscious.

She’s been shaken.

What happened?

Where the hell were you God?

Please tell me you blocked her mind.

Please let me believe you blocked her pain.

Please convince me she wasn’t terrified.

I can’t imagine her thoughts otherwise.

Did she look hopefully into eyes of rage?

Did she cry out for help?

Was she aware of the trauma in her body,

In her little experience

In her innocence?

How could you let this happen?

How am I supposed to love her caretakers?

How, please tell me, do I forgive?

If I’m this enraged

How did you manage with the men who came with a hammer and nails for your feet and hands?

You didn’t fight.

Did she?

Convince me, please, that you bore her pain

You took it and kept it from her &

From where I sit, tell me she didn’t feel

The betrayal, the horror, the terror.

Please tell me you spared her

From what seems very evident

In her little body…

In her little ‘created in God’s image’

‘Blessed little one”

Childhood innocence.

Please help me God.

At least she’s sedated now.

I’m fighting the righteous rage

I’m feeling,

The ungraceful judgement

The balled up emotional fists.

If I must feel this rage for her,

As you felt physical torment on a cross

Please help me.

I want to be like you

But this is too much.

Please help me not join in with

Those who crucify and terrorize

Because of my feelings of rage.

Please save her

But help me too

To be like you.

Amen.

#pediatric palliative##prayer#

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Author: revbaum

I manage issues of faith & politics with a dry sense of humor and my own unconventional perspective. I’m ordained, progressive and “woke”. I am a chaplain, health coach, spiritual director and pastor.

2 thoughts on “She’s Hurt”

  1. Wow. You need to beat on something. Pillow? Kick a can.?Something. This is a beautiful expression of your feelings.

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  2. Lisa, my heart breaks for her and you and for those who put her in this crucifixion. I know you see this almost everyday. The people who do this to children are ‘children’ themselves in the sense that they live in a legacy of poor self image.
    As a teacher, I always thought my job was to be a mirror to my students, to show them the strengths and skills they already have within themselves. No matter the subject, I ultimately wanted to help the student build their self image of strength as well as to teach them how to pass this inner strength to others. Today our system does not teach self reliance and positive self image. People feel very bad about themselves and their natural inclination is to fight and hurt others so they won’t feel so alone.
    I think my mission is to aid others in feeling very good about themselves so that the crucifixions can stop. It’s a legacy we have to stop. I teach people that their art is inside them and to teach them skills for expressing their inner art. I pray you can help parents of these children to see the good inside themselves so they can help their children learn their own inner strengths. We must help others feel GOOD about themselves and realize they are the Light of Christ.
    Sometimes I wish I could teach in jails and prisons to help all the convicted to experience this inner LIGHT.
    My sister killed herself because she never felt that deep self worth. How did the same parents who raised me also raise her? I was and am so blessed! I’m breathing gratitude all day everyday.

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